Star Wars: The true meaning of Christmas

This is a piece I’ve written for SciFi Now, a brilliant British magazine dedicated to, you guessed it, SciFi. But also horror, fantasy, games and stuff. Go to their website right now.

They’ve asked for people to submit their own stories about their Star Wars memories and love of the franchise.  Mine’s about my earliest experience with Star Wars and it’s deep Christmas meaning. I’m not sure if they’ll use it, but fingers crossed.

Time to get serious… Goddamn those prequels sucked

A serious topic now. The Star Wars prequels. Nerd rage!

If you’re not a complete idiot, if you have even the slightest glimmer of taste, and if you understand anything about films, then you should hate the Star Wars prequels (and your name certainly wouldn’t be George Lucas). But why exactly do you hate them? It can be hard to put your finger on exactly what it is. The painfully bad dialogue? The wooden acting? The plots that make absolutely no sense? Jar Jar Binks? George Lucas destroying everything that ignited your love of the first three?

Wait, haven’t I seen that before somewhere?

I’ll give you a clue, it totally ruined Alderaan’s day. It then became a lazy plot device in future films.

Pretty cool huh? Its actually one of Saturn’s moons called Mimas, and astronomers think it was hit by an object with just enough force to leave this huge crater, but not totally destroy the moon itself. Lunatics think it was made by aliens on purpose in order to… well I’m not sure, neither are the lunatics. They’re wrong though; they’re called lunatics for a reason.